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Happy Holidays - A Blessed New Year for us all

Nancy & Ryan
Originally uploaded by conniepelkey

This is Ryan, 7 years old.
Ryan is autistic and ever since I met him as a toddler he has never voluntarily made eye contact. All that changed this Christmas.... he has jumped a major hurdle in his development!

Yay Ryan!

You go guy!!

More holiday pictures here!

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Copyright © 2008 by Constance Pelkey.

This bloggy feed is for personal, non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this content in a news reader or on a website related to Constance Pelkey, then where you are reading it from is in violation of copyright!
Thanks!! Connie

From the Autisic childs perspective..

01/11/2002

Thanks to Viki Gayhardt
Reprinted by permission of the author, Viki Satkiewicz Gayhardt

Dear Family and Friends:

I understand that we will be visiting each other for the holidays this year! Sometimes these visits can be very hard for me, but here is some information that might help our visit to be more successful. As you probably know, a hidden disability called autism, or what some people refer to as a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), challenges me. Autism/PDD is a neurodevelopment disorder, which makes it hard for me to understand the environment around me. I have barriers in my brain that you can’t see, but which make it difficult for me to adapt to my surroundings.

Thanksgiving & Christmas is one of the roughest holidays for me. With large crowds and holiday shopping it can be very overwhelming, even a bit scary. When planning a party remember that with my over sensitive hearing and eye sight, Christmas trees and holiday smells can cause me mild to severe pain or discomfort. If the noises are impossible to control a personal stereo with headphones set to a safe level for children may help drown out background noise and ease my discomfort.

Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt, but it is only that because I have to try so hard to understand people and at the same time, make myself understood. People with autism have different abilities: some may not speak, some write beautiful poetry, others are whizzes in math (Albert Einstein was thought to be autistic), or may have difficulty making friends. We are all different and need various degrees of support.

Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, it might feel painful and make me want to run away. I get easily frustrated too. Being with lots of other people is like standing next to a moving freight train and trying to decide how and when to jump aboard. I feel frightened and confused a lot of the time. This is why I need to have things the same as much as possible. Once I learn how things happen, I can get by OK. But if something, anything, changes, then I have to relearn the situation all over again! It is very hard.

When you try to talk to me, I often can’t understand what you say because there is a lot of distraction around. I have to concentrate very hard to hear and understand one thing at a time. You might think I am ignoring you-I am not. Rather, I am hearing everything and not knowing what is most important to respond to.

Holidays are exceptionally hard because there are so many different people, places, and things going on that are out of my ordinary realm. This may be fun and adventurous for most people, but for me, it’s very hard work and can be extremely stressful. I often have to get away from all the commotion to calm down. It would be great if you had a private place set up to where I could retreat.

If I cannot sit at the meal table, do not think I am misbehaving or that my parents have no control over me. Sitting in one place for even five minutes is often impossible for me. I feel so antsy and overwhelmed by all the smells, sounds, and people–I just have to get up and move about. Please don’t hold up your meal for me–go on without me, and my parents will handle the situation the best way they know how.

Eating in general is hard for me. If you understand that autism is a sensory processing disorder, it’s no wonder eating is a problem! Think of all the senses involved with eating. Sight, smell, taste, touch, AND all the complicated mechanics that are involved. Chewing and swallowing is something that a lot of people with autism have trouble with. I am not being picky-I literally cannot eat certain foods as my sensory system and/or oral motor coordination is impaired. Don’t be disappointed if Mom hasn’t dressed me in starch and bows. It’s because she knows how much stiff and frilly clothes can drive me buggy! I have to feel comfortable in my clothes or I will just be miserable. When I go to someone else’s house, I may appear bossy and controlling. In a sense, I am being controlling, because that is how I try to fit into the world around me (which is so hard to figure out!) Things have to be done in a way I am familiar with or else I might get confused and frustrated. It doesn’t mean you have to change the way you are doing things–just please be patient with me, and understanding of how I have to cope. Mom and Dad have no control over how my autism makes me feel inside. People with autism often have little things that they do to help themselves feel more comfortable. The grown ups call it “self regulation,” or “stimming’. I might rock, hum, flick my fingers, or any number of different things. I am not trying to be disruptive or weird. Again, I am doing what I have to do for my brain to adapt to your world. Sometimes I cannot stop myself from talking, singing, or doing an activity I enjoy. The grown-ups call this “perseverating” which is kind-a-like self- regulation or stimming. I do this only because I have found something to occupy myself that makes me feel comfortable. Perseverative behaviors are good to a certain degree because they help me calm down.

Please be respectful to my Mom and Dad if they let me “stim” for a while as they know me best and what helps to calm me. Remember that my Mom and Dad have to watch me much more closely than the average child. This is for my own safety, and preservation of your possessions. It hurts my parents’ feelings to be criticized for being over protective, or condemned for not watching me close enough. They are human and have been given an assignment intended for saints. My parents are good people and need your support.

Holidays are filled with sights, sounds, and smells. The average household is turned into a busy, frantic, festive place. Remember that this may be fun for you, but it’s very hard work for me to conform. If I fall apart or act out in a way that you consider socially inappropriate, please remember that I don’t possess the neurological system that is required to follow some social rules. I am a unique person–an interesting person. I will find my place at this celebration that is comfortable for us all, as long as you’ll try to view the world through my eyes!

*Author, Viki Gayhardt*

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Copyright © 2008 by Constance Pelkey.

This bloggy feed is for personal, non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this content in a news reader or on a website related to Constance Pelkey, then where you are reading it from is in violation of copyright!Thanks!! Con

Ryan Playing With Nero

Friday, we had Ryan sleep over. He LOVED playing with our little dog Nero. Nero is a VERY busy little black bastard (as Nancy endearingly ;) calls him) who never stops! Well, Ryan wore his little black butt out!! I NEVER thought I'd see the day when Nero was too tired to play fetch - with whatever happened to be laying around. (They are playing with a popped blow up ball!!) He is something, my little dog, but Ryan is TRULY something! We adore him!!

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Copyright © 2008 by Constance Pelkey.

This bloggy feed is for personal, non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this content in a news reader or on a website related to Constance Pelkey, then where you are reading it from is in violation of copyright!
Thanks!! Connie

An afternoon at the pool with Ryan

Ryan and Nancy in the pool!

Ready? ONE, TWO, THREE! GO!!
KER-SPLASH!!!!

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Copyright © 2008 by Constance Pelkey.

This bloggy feed is for personal, non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this content in a news reader or on a website related to Constance Pelkey Designs, the you are reading it from is in violation of copyright!
Thanks!! Connie

Ice Out Thanks!

Here's the thank you card I received from the Autism Society of Maine!

Thanks again, everyone!!

And the winner is......

This what was left as of 12:01PM yesterday. 4/20/2008

Rebeccah is the winner!!! YAY!! Congrats to her and thanks to EVERYONE who participated and offered extra cash to go the Maine Autism Society!

I'll be making the final donation later in the week.

Again, thanks so much to everyone!

Connie & Nancy

www.flickr.com connie_clays' Ice Out on the Pinette/Pelkey back deck! photoset

Ice out update 4/20/2008

It's coming down to the wire!! These first two pictures were taken yesterday afternoon at 3PM and then again at 5PM!

The next is what is left of Mount P as of 8AM this morning!

3PM 4/19/2008

5PM 4/19/2008

8AM 4/20/2008

It's looking like Sheryl will take the prize... that is if it melts completely by noon today, if it's after noon Rebeccah will take the prize!

Uh oh!!! ice out update 4/18/2008 6:30PM est

Uh oh!! Almost gone!!

Wee lil' bit left!!

The melting of Mount P

'nother shot 4-4-08 8AM
Originally uploaded by connie_clays

Dilly & the melting of Mount P 4-4-08 8AM
Originally uploaded by connie_clays

Here's a couple of shots taken this morning of our mountain, April 4th, 2008 about 8 AM. Looks like Ted or Sheryl might be the winner, except take a look at todays forecast from WCSH channel 6. Ya never know whats gonna happen with the weather this spring!!

Sheesh!!

Ice out on MT "P"

OK....

Here is our Mt P. yesterday March 31. Not melting much... in fact it snowed a little on it yesterday!

Here's Dilly ~

We have 120 folks so that means the "pot" is 60 bux both ways.

The Autism Society of Maine gets $60 and so does the winner!

Here is the final list of all the "Ice Out" participants and the dates they chose.

April 2008

Ted - April 18

Sheryl - April 19

Rebeccah - April 21

Connie - April 23

Amanda - April 25

Jim - April 26

Tonia - April 27

Deb - April 28

Diane - April 29

Sharlene - April 30

May 2008

Jeff - May 1

Michele & DJ - May 2

Sandi - May 3

Barbie - May 5

Paula - May 7

Nancy - May 9

Gary - May 10

Mom & Dad - May 11

Peggy - May 15

Cindy Lou Who - May 17

Jen - May 19

Kathy - May 22

June 2008

Paul - June 1

NeNe - June 23

Thanks all for joining in our little bit o' fun and good luck to everyone!!

Connie & Nancy

ICE OUT

ICE OUT
Originally uploaded by connie_clays

When will Ice Out occur on our back deck??

These shots where taken on Saturday March 22, 2008. In Augusta, ME.

"Ice Out" is when all remnants of our snow and ice mountain are gone off our westerly facing deck in Augusta, Maine, it can still be wet, but all snow and ice must be gone. The deck is 12ft. X 12ft. Take into account that the dogs will be walking on "the mountain" and there is still some snow on the two intersecting roofs above the deck which might slide off and contribute, or it might just stay on the roofs and melt there..

PayPal us your guess amount ($5.00 per guess) with date of ICE OUT, Name of bidder and address to connies dot clay dot creations @ gmail dot com

Those of you living near us can just give your $$ to us in person.

* 50% of the entire amount collected goes to whomever guesses the CLOSEST date, either before or after the actual ice out date. (the winner)
* 50% of the entire amount collected will be donated, by us to the Autism Society of Maine.

Have fun everyone!

We'll take guesses until April 1st 2008.

Check back to the flikr picture list for a list of chosen dates.
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Connie & Nancy

Autism Speaks

The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.49 to Autism Speaks for *each time* the video is viewed . The funding goes toward research studies to help find a cure. When you have a moment, please visit the link below to watch the video and pass it along to your friends and family. They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal.

Click on link to view.

http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214

Connie~

designer/instructor

~ Life's too short to use cheap beads! ~